Forgiven
by Lastavica
Summary: Raksha Bandhan stirs up guilt for Gopal. (One shot for "Hum Tumhare Hain Sanam")


Gopal awoke with the morning sun. He started to move but was stopped as his eyes fell on Radha's sleeping face. Though still asleep, her arm was hooked through his, contentedly holding onto him as she dreamed. It made him smile. Careful not to wake her, he got out of bed and went down to the kitchen.

Radha was just opening her eyes when he returned with a tray of coffee.

"Good morning." He smiled, put the tray on the night table, and climbed back into bed. "Happy anniversary, janu." He said, leaning down to kiss her cheek.

Radha smiled and stretched. Gopal poured her a cup of coffee as she lifted herself into sitting position.

"Thank you." she said as she took the cup from his hands. She took a moment to just watch her husband's content expression as he poured a cup for himself. When he turned to meet her eyes, she took the opportunity to kiss him.

"Happy Anniversary."

The two of them spent the rest of the early morning sitting together in bed, drinking coffee and talking to each other. It felt so good just to spend the time. They were happy, truly happy. They had failed each other so badly during the first part of that year. It had taken nearly losing each other permanently for their eyes to be opened. The new beginning of their marriage also brought a new beginning in their lives. Radha was now four months pregnant. Gopal never let her forget it either. He never missed an opportunity to hug her around the waist, or gently place a hand on her stomach or, make sure nobody was looking and then kiss her small baby bump. She laughed each and every time.

When they had eventually readied themselves and went down stairs, Nita was waiting for Gopal with a big smile. August 29th, not only marked Gopal and Radha's first anniversary, but it was also the day on which Rakhsha Bandhan fell that year. Nita reached down to touch her bhaiya's feet and then they embraced. Taking his wrist, she tied him a simple rahki. Then, she picked up the tray with its small burning lamp and lifted it in peaceful circles around his face. She prayed for her brother's long life, his good health and for him always to be surrounded by love. Gopal looked at her serene, smiling face. He was so proud of his sister. She was so beautiful, intelligent and good. He closed his eyes with a smile as she applied the tilak to his forehead. They both laughed a little when she fed him from the tray and then hugged him tightly. Gopal told her how much he loved her and kissed her forehead.

After a lovely breakfast with Nita, the couple drove over to Suraj's house. Prashant was still living there. It had proved to be for the best for everyone. Suraj helped him find a decent job and he was finally being responsible. Suman, now very happily engaged to Suraj, had come earlier in the morning to tie rakhi for Prashant.

The two men were spending the late morning lounging around when Radha and Gopal arrived. Before Gopal and Suraj had even released their handshake, Radha was already fussing over her brothers and their bachelor pad. Gopal affectionately tried to get her to leave them alone, but they never complained. Neither minded the mothering. Neither of them wanted to remember that their mother was gone.

"Amit first!" Suraj yelled. He ran over to Prashant, clasped his shoulders and forced him into a chair. Suraj stood behind him like an excited child as Radha came over to tie rakhi for her little brother.

When it was Suraj's turn, he laughed as Radha feigned scolding him and pushed him into the chair. She produced another rahki from he purse and drew his hand towards herself. His eyes followed her movements as she tied the colorful band to his wrist.

Gopal took it all in. He smiled despite the guilt and regret that began to creep up. The bond that Suraj and Radha shared was a precious and innocent. Now that he understood it for what it was, it made him happy.

Still, Gopal's heart began to ache.

It was because of the look on Suraj's face.

His brown eyes looked at Radha with so much trust and affection. She was his older sister, his best friend. Gopal hated himself for ever thinking that those eyes contained anything else.

Suraj was an orphan welcomed into Radha's family home. They played together, ate together, grew up together. Suraj didn't have anyone else, and Gopal had tried to separate them, convinced the good hearted man was a lech.

When Radha finished the ritual, she kissed Suraj gently on the forehead. He leapt to his feet and hugged her tightly.

Gopal's eyes fell to the floor. He had rejected her family and the shame still stung.

"Gopal!"

Gopal looked up quickly at Suraj.

"Suman wanted to tie your rakhi, but she couldn't stay today."

Gopal nodded with a smile. "You need to bring her to dinner soon."

"Yes!" Radha agreed.

"Oh!" Suraj suddenly exclaimed. "Happy anniversary!"

"Ji, Didi!" Prashant exclaimed as both of them pulled her and Gopal into a ridiculous group hug.

"Thank you, guys." Gopal and Radha laughed.

.

The guilt that Gopal felt seemed to increase as they drove back home. He grew quiet and by the time they reached home, he had a strong desire just to hide. He just couldn't shake the miserable feeling.

"Radha, I'm going to lie down." He told her once they were inside the house.

She looked at him. "Do you feel ill?"

"No, no. I just feel like resting."

"Alright." She said. "Should I wake you?" They were going out later for their anniversary.

"No, I'll be up in time."

"Thik Hain" She said and gave him a small kiss on the cheek.

Radha watched him climb the stairs. Ever since they'd forgiven each other, she worked very hard to see his needs and give him her time, just as he had accepted Suraj and worked on communicating with her.

He seemed worried or upset. She lingered at the bottom of the steps for a little while until she decided to follow after him. When she entered their room she found him laying curled up on the bed, his back to the door.

He didn't move when she approached. Assuming he must have fallen asleep, she lay down close to him and put her arm around him.  
She was a little surprised when she felt his hand take hers. He held it to his cheek. Radha couldn't help but smile a little. She forced away the regret of having been blind to his abundant affection for so long. Her regret was short lived as she began to feel his tears wet her hand.  
"Gopal? Kya hua?" (What happened?)  
"Kuch nahee." (Nothing) He said, but he couldn't hide it.  
"Please tell me." She said.  
"Your brother."  
"Prashant?"  
"...Suraj."

Radha closed her eyes. "Gopal," she said, pressing her forehead to the back of his shoulder. "I forgave you for that. Suraj forgave you."

"I know." He said, trying to hold back more tears. "I know."

There was nothing more to say, so she simply remained as close to him as she could. They had made huge mistakes and they had to forgive themselves.

"Gopal." Radha said after a little while.

"Hmm?"

"Look at me?"

Semi-reluctantly, he turned over onto his other side to face Radha. It hurt her to see the shame he held in his expression. She reached out and wiped his tears. "Hum tumhare hain." (I'm yours.) She said and smiled warmly.

"I'm sorry I couldn't accept your brothers. I'm sorry I didn't trust you."

"It's in the past, Gopal."

"I know." He said and moved closer to tuck his head under her chin.

"I could spend the rest of my life apologizing to you and it might never feel like enough," she said. "but you forgave me. That's it.

He breathed deeply and exhaled long and slow. When he finally spoke, his voice was soft but unmistakablly comforted. "I really love you." He said.

Radha put her arms around him and couldn't help but smile. "I love you."


End file.
